Trick Or Treat

Last Saturday we attended a Halloween party hosted by M. Santerre in Tiverton, Rhode Island. Kylee dressed up as a fairy, Hubster was Freddy and I was just a sexy Bunny.

Today, for trick or treating in Barrington, Kylee will be a Bunny, I will be the She-devil and Hubster will just be a "white man". He refused to wear a costume.

This morning I woke up with a weird dream. Two Chinese brothers were leading a syndicate and they were also in-love with the same girl. That was like watching an action film. For free. The head of the syndicate ripped his gut out and took his small intestine. Apparently, that's how they commit suicide. As I was telling this story to the Hubster, Kylee butt-in on the conversation and said that she had a dream too. She said she was playing with Ondrej and a man grabbed her. And she just covered herself with a blanket. Then she said, You had the same dream before. The hubster remembered I had a dream like that too. I think that dream made me paranoid that's why when we go out I am always holding Kylee's hand. Not on my watch you pervs! rofl

It seems like a good day today. Did I mention I won a twin-blanket/comforter and an Olive Oil set during the Halloween party? This is the first time in my life that I won on a raffle. I also won a doll (which Kylee calls Penny) on a vending machine prior to the party. I guess my luck is starting to kick-in.

Life is full of surprises! 

Only Fools Rush In

I had a comment from my entry yesterday. It says: Sooooorrrdss!

Then it got me thinking about my life as an erstwhile artist. I auditioned for a part in a play called Ibalong gazillion years ago. Its the epic (story) of Bicol heroes. I got the part of "Laryong" and she is a witch. Which evidently is such a cliche!

During the course of practice, the director still was looking for a small part which is the wife of one of the heroes. Since I was there I volunteered to be an understudy because that part was after my last scene (where I was killed by the hero) and I don't have anything better to do.

Of course the director agreed for "blocking" purposes. And then they all forgot to look for the real "actor" for the part. I was semi-electrocuted during the performance at Divine College because I was in a hurry to remove my gruesome make-up (as a witch) for the next part.

Anyway, the next year it became a BIGGER production. I was the wife of the first hero. Oh please, don't ask me their names! My best buddy, King was one of that hero. And I have to say, I completely suck at that performance! I wanted to be a witch but hey, I don't know how to sing and it was required. I remembered insisting I have a wardrobe change just because I was so bored with my role.

During this whole ordeal and months of preparation and practice, I chanced upon a guy named "whatshisname" and he was supposed to be an actor from another school. I was told he was good. And I refused to comment on that. (Bitter! Peanut-bitter!)

We sort of hit it off quickly and became "close" and I thought with him I found someone who will be my ally. Then he disappointed me, BIG TIME! I refused to disclose more details except that, I thought he was no longer in-love with his ex, then one time we went to a fair where he was all over the ex and it disgust me.  

I found a letter in my room which says: I detest the best of what you are because more of you seems to be less and the rest doesn't count.

The mother-effin asshole is a freeloader! I paid for your drinks and food, you miserable excuse for a human being! And you think I was pathetic when in fact you just would have directed the mirror to yourself! I cannot believe how "trusting" I was. I cannot believe you bit the hands that fed you.

Okay so that was not the entire letter but that was what etched on my mind. With him, I don't think I can ever be friends again. I was devastated by the betrayal and he can never take back what he said. And even if someone will say otherwise, I just have to say: Sooorrrds!

Evidently, the love of my life has emerged most recently so there's no doubt I found him. Or he found me. Whichever comes first. The thing is, do not rush into love. Only fools do it.

To forgive is To forget: Try That Yourself

Due to insistent public demand, I will be disclosing more of the treacheries I have experienced. Brace yourselves!

Case number 2: a long long time ago, there was once a boy who was extremely cute. Sissy has a crush on him. He wooed me. I was flattered. He became my "boyfriend". Okay so I was like 17. And not that pretty. And being with a cute human being is like having Godiva chocolates when you should only be with the company of KitKats. Not that Kitkat is shabby (Its by far my favorite) but it is definitely not of our league. FACE value wise.

He is actually my first love. Or so I thought. While we were dating, he will usually hang out in our "boarding house" which we jokingly refer to as "Rehab" and he scrub the floor of my room with a coconut husk. He said it was exercise. He do my laundry. We were together for almost a year and it became boring. I think for both of us. One day, he told me that he will be out of town (going to Manila) for a few days. I was like, okay. But in mind it was: Great! I can hang out with my friends.

So the day he was supposed to be "out of town" I went out with my friend, Malyn and Nick and some other Dude. We had a great time and was supposed be going home so I boarded the jeep. (For those who are not aware of what a jeep is: Its a public transportation in the Philippines) And there he was! With his arms on the shoulder of a heavy-breasted woman. I say a woman because she was older.

The truth is, the hurt I felt was more of embarrassment. I was with my friends on the jeep. I felt betrayed but I was more embarrassed. There were no words that came out of my mouth. I was, for the first time of my life, speechless. I went off  the jeep and he said he will drop by later on. I said dont bother. I remembered Sharon Quitasol (my boardmate) opened the gate and I burst into tears. Of course we were on the pathway and people are suddenly flooding so she told me to go to my room and she brought ciggies. I was of course, okay  and stopped crying when she arrived.

He went back to woe me. I was like, no way. One day, we were in a club and he saw me with friends and some cute dudes, he asked to talk. I was like, Sure! We went outside of the club and he knelt and asked for forgiveness. He said he will not stand unless I take him back. Of course a lot of people are passing by and he was embarrassed but he did not stand. He was begging though. And then, an amazing spark lit on my brain. This is the time to exact my vengeance.

Just when he thought I was okay with everything, I dated his friend. I did not really like his friend that much but what the heck, it's just a one time date.

We broke up. He dated my friend. We still hang out. I loved him as a friend. We had good times. Great times. Everything fell into its proper place. We were friends and I think that's what were just supposed to be. Friends.

Then he died. It was a motorcycle accident.

Note: I had a suitor who died of a motorcycle accident after that. I dated another boy who died of another motorcycle as well. I'm not a big fan of motorcycle however bad-ass they look. They take away lives.

This is why I am telling you people: LIVE your life! life is short! Bring out the Margarita's! Oh, and first love dies. No pun intended.

I Can Forgive but I will Never Forget

Yesterday I was doing an entry but hesitated to publish it. I think my parental theory will not matter to everyone because I am not a parent. When and If I become one I might change my mind with that theory. Who knows?

For the meantime lets talk about something where I am knowledgeable with. ME.

A friend once said: "To forgive is to forget." Well I beg to disagree! I can forgive but I can NEVER forget!

Case number 1: During college I was close to this girl whom I thought was my "friend". I tagged her along and gave her free (of charge) and unsolicited advises. I give her free drinks. and free food. I made sure she looks good too. Well, whenever she was with me. She sort of befriended me and I was like, okay no worries I'm going with the flow.  So, I was dating this boy who was sort of cute and prided himself to be a poet. Wrote poetry for me and made me a little bit smitten. Just a little bit. One day, I went to the hospital to stay with my Grandpa and I was absent from school for 2 days. When I went back to school, we decided to have a few drinks. By WE I meant, the erstwhile friend, the boy I was dating and Sherry, my true and loyal friend.

While we are drinking, I was seated next to the boy and the boy was seated next to that girl. When I was doing my shots I noticed that the (expletives deleted firmly) two of them are holding hands under the table! To say that I was furious is an understatement! It drove me nuts! Not because the boy is a (expletives deleted) asswipe but I treated that girl as a friend. Of course I pointed it out to them and they immediately let go of each other's hands. I went out of that "watering hole" and he followed me. He was trying to explain his side.

Me: Tell me why of all people in the world you opted for her? YOU have no respect! If you have a little bit, just a little bit of respect, you will look for someone prettier than me! (Imagine me berserk and narcissistic at the same time) Do you think I am stupid? Do you think I am stupid? Answer me you miserable pathetic (expletives deleted)!

Him: Well...
Me: Ah! And you want to answer back? You  (all swearing possible)!

I immediately left. Unbeknownst to my knowledge the boy has RHD. No, not Right Hand Drive. The poor boy which I terrorized has Rheumatic Heart Disease. When I left he was rushed to the nearby hospital and was admitted for a few days.

Uhmm....My bad!

Anyway, of course I forgave the poor guy. It was after all my "drama" which made him bedridden for a few days. Poor boy! See? I am not a psychopath! I exhibited remorse. Right?

The boy continued "wooing" me but to no avail. I already forgave him. Why would I submit myself to such ego-diminishing activity again? So of course, since he was my classmate on some class he was always the subject of my ridicule. But hey! I forgave him. I talk to him. I talk to him over the phone. True, I was always nasty. But I still speak with him. He is a sweet boy after all.

And the girl? Who cares? I forgave her. We go to clubs and hang out from time to time (with other friends) but I don't think I will ever trust her again. So why bother? And where is she now? Hmmm.... I really dont know. I saw her six years ago before I went to Dubai. And frankly, I don't really give a rat's ass!

That's the thing about me. I can be your biggest friend. I can be your ally. But the minute YOU cross me is the minute you decide that you will no longer have me in your life. Well, that depends too. Because if I am in the mood to be vindictive I can always do that.

And its not a threat! It's a PROMISE!

Back to Ranting

Lindsay Lohan is apparently doing the cover of Playboy. This girl made a lot of bad decisions in life. Is she in need of attention that bad?

I know of people who makes bad decisions in life. I have made bad decisions myself. But do we really want to walk on that path again? If you are a teenager it is expected of you to make bad choices in life. Now, what is your excuse?

People who are always crying and playing victims are annoying. Wherever we are right now, it is our choice to be there. It was our decision. So ranting about how your life sucks is actually of your own doing. YOU are the product of the choices you made. You DESERVE wherever state you are now!

Don't go blaming men why they don't take you seriously. YOU don't take yourself seriously so why the (expletives deleted) hell are you demanding for them to do so? You don't like how your family member treats you? YOU made them that way! You don't like how your friends' attitudes are towards you? YOU made them that way!

Don't go around asking people for sympathy and think you have fooled them because they actually talk about how pathetic you are behind your back! You feel that you are a victim but you are actually living a life which you deserve because of your own doing. No one else is responsible but you!

When are you ever going to learn?

Own it up. Unless you own up to your mistakes you can never move forward. It is our life that we direct. We can only live our own lives. 

I am in Pain

Okay so Alexis Stewart on an interview stated that the book was supposed to be funny. And Martha was okay with the book. I guess I was a bit okay now. Like it matters to them!

Today I cooked "Pork Sinigang" and instead of pechay (bok choy) I substituted it with spinach. I think its okay, Kylee loves it. I marinated pork spareribs for tomorrow.

Its getting a bit chilly nowadays. I have been wearing my pajamas and sweat pants and sweater for the past few days. I hate winter! I do! If I win the lotto I will buy a mansion in Florida and stay there until winter is over. But I don't even buy those ticket so I just have to content myself hibernating in my crib.

I started a new blog strictly for my newfound love for photography. If you wish to speak with me regarding a new project I am open to conceptualize with you. I am working on a Rapunzel and Mother-Daughter theme. I just cant look for a good location.

I'm a bit disturbed with this weather. My back is killing me and I am literally dying.

The Tale of the Ungrateful Daughter

Check this on my lookbook: http://lookbook.nu/look/2543883-Tropical-Fruit

I woke up today and my "Domesticated Diva" (according to Glaiza) alter ego prepared Beamer's lunch and snacks, clothes to wear and a pair of gym clothes. 

My mornings are composed of staying in the room (after the hubster left) and blog while watching news. Matt Lauer is my constant morning companion. 

Alexis Stewart, Martha Stewart's daughter (yes, the great Martha Stewart) apparently wrote a book. The book was about her life growing up with a Martha Stewart. 

"If I didn't do something perfectly, I had to do it again," writes Stewart, 46. "I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head."

In my opinion, she is an ungrateful daughter. Okay, so when you dont do it perfectly you do it again. What's the big deal? Did you die? A glue gun pointed in the head meant she was teaching her to be like her. A homemaking goddess.

"Martha was not interested in being kid-friendly," her daughter writes. 

She stated there was no food in the refrigerator. There were ingredients but not prepared. There was no trick or treating during Halloween. And she wraps her own gift for Christmas. People from the third world countries do not have gifts at all during Christmas! They do not have food at all! They do not go trick or treating because NOBODY will give them anything.

There was a time in my childhood that I felt that my Mother doesnt have money at all. That particular time we feasted on canned sardines (which I still love until now!). I have never experienced trick or treating (It's my first time this year!) and I cooked my own food when I was 9. I make a mean noodle with sardines. Too bad the Hubster doesnt like seafood.

What is the BIG deal Alexis Stewart? Do you really have to diss your mom like that? I mean on national TV? International media? Was she really a bad mother for you to write a book about her?

I am not in defense of Martha. I am not a mother. 

"Halloween was also a grim affair: There were no costumes," she writes. "There was no anything. We turned off all the lights and pretended we weren't home."

I remembered "Christmas Carolers" in the Philippines. Every second they come back once you give them something. Everyday for 30 days. Of course there will be time that you want to close your lights. What is the big deal?

"A woman lived near us when I was little, had married someone very wealthy and very unattractive, and my mother actually told me when I was a small child, 'Now Alexis, if this ever happens, you make sure you have sex with somebody else to have their baby. Don't have his baby,'" she writes.

Pardon me for laughing my esophagus out! She was probably saying that because the man was unattractive and she would not want to have an unattractive grandchild. I remembered my Mom when I told her that I passed the audition for majorette during freshman.

My Mom (Nanay): Huwaaat??
Me: Yes! Auntie Nancy told me.
Nanay: Who was conducting the audition?
Me: Auntie Nancy!
Nanay: Exactly! It's your Auntie Nancy! Out of shame she will take you.
Me: But I wanted to be one. My friends are.
Nanay: Look, I love you. You are my daughter. For me you are the most beautiful girl in the world. But not everyone will agree. I do not want to be fighting with some other kibitzers when I hear them saying, "Who is that skinny ugly girl? Why did they even got her?"

"Mother always peed with the door open," she writes. "I remember saying, 'You know, now I have friends over! You can't do that anymore! It's gotta stop! My friends' parents don't do it! Give me a break here! I don't feel like being embarrassed! It's exhausting! I'm a kid! Stop!"'

Alexis, Alexis, Alexis... If you say this this things to my Mom you are going to pick up your teeth on the floor! In other countries (like mine!) you are not even allowed to voice your opinion as a child. And I pee with the door open, not ajar, OPEN. It's my house! Im sure its her house too. She can do what she want. Hell, I even pee on the bushes if the nature calls. I think its way better than pee-ing in your pants. Right Puppet?

The book, is, afterall, dedicated to Martha Stewart, with this foreword: "Thanks in advance to my mother for not getting angry about anything written in this book."

Okay. So she didn't mind. What was the point? Martha is an Institution. All Mother's are. In this case, I have to say this too:

Thank you Nanay for making me the person that I am today. For opening my eyes and not fooling me of being beautiful like some parents do to their kids. Thank you for that gift. The gift of candor. For whatever flaws you have I embrace it. And I know you embrace mine. And I have plenty.

I love you Nanay.