Finding a Prince

"You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis."
— Jessica Zafra (Chicken Pox for the Soul)

I was a fool. During college I thought I'm going to find the man of my dreams and we will live happily ever after. Well, first I did not find any "man" and on the course of my fairy tale pursuits I realized there are no happy ever after. See, you will only know that you had a happy ending when you die. But then again, you died. So where is the happiness there?

I love breathing. I told my sister Sugar that if I hang myself and left a suicide note that will be a foul play. She needs to have my body autopsied or something. Why would I end my life when clearly I can make my enemies lives miserable just by existing?

Let me tell you a story:

When I was 18 I had a GINORMAS (gigantic, enormous, massive) crush on this bad-ass looking boy from Chicago. He is clearly not handsome. I was clearly blinded. I "loved" him from afar. He is always with his friends. I was always tongue-tied. Intimidated.

One day, while my sister Sugar had a sleepover in my boarding house there was a loud knock on my door. I was like, WTF?
Me: Who is it? (while dressing up)
knock-knock-knock
Me: WHO IS IT?
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
Me: WHAT THE F....
(I opened the door and saw him standing in there.)

Clearly I was not expecting that. Clearly I just woke up. Clearly, I was giddy.

We were standing in front of the door and I went outside to ask him if he needed anything. Like ask me the whereabouts of common friends but he did not. He was asking me out. I was confused. Is this a friggin' joke? I told him I cant because my sister was there but he said he can pick me up tomorrow.

Fast forward. I totally forgot the whole scenario but when we went for a movie it was a major major disaster!

We went to the movie house and he bought the ticket. He then said, I can go to the movie house first then he will just follow. I was again, confused. Maybe he saw some other girl he was dating. Maybe he saw his Mother. Clearly he was suddenly uncomfortable. I went ahead. He bought some soda and stuff.

He attempted to hold my hand and I brushed it off. All through the movie I was thinking, this boy whom I have a tremendous crush is not the man of my dreams. I totally zoned. I said, I'm going to the restroom. And I never came back.

I moved on. He could have been the perfect boyfriend but not mine. I realized that he may have been looking for someone better. I may have been insecure during that time but he was clearly not the guy for me. I know. I know. That was obnoxious of me to leave him there but it felt so right to do that.

And I felt soooo COOL!

In relationships, I guess its better to quit while you are ahead. Some masochists would stay in a relationship which is not working. I will not. It takes two to tango. If one person do not want to make the relationship work then it will not work. So for those who are single and currently dating, be with a man who will love you for who you are. A man who thinks that you look beautiful even if you just woke up. A man who makes breakfast. Or Dinner. A man who will constantly think of you all through the day. A man who will stand by you no matter what. A man who will understand your tantrums and PMS. A man who respects you and treats you right. A man who loves you and trust you. A man who will make you as a priority.

Do not stay in a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Do not stay on a relationship for money. Do not be a home wrecker. Do not settle to be 2nd best. You are worthy. You are a Goddess. In your own special way.

Do not settle for anything less.