Unobstructed Rage

There is hatred in my heart. The kind which makes my head spin and make me do stupid things. Like ran away from it all. The kind of hatred which makes me want to cry for hours but opted not to because of too much hatred. The kind of hatred which makes me jump the bridge, except that I dont know how to swim.

I am getting NUTS!

I want to do a lot of things and yet starting seems to be the hardest part.

It is! Learning how to walk seems to be too hard for babies. Learning how to ride a bike gave me a lot of scars on my legs. Learning how to love, scars in my heart. Learning how to trust.

I am consumed with hatred. I cannot even begin to start this blog. Where is it coming from? I dont know. Maybe from past experiences. Maybe from bitterness. Maybe from the deepest recesses of my being. I just know that I have a lot of hatred inside me and its just sitting there in the crevasse of a tiny little heart of mine waiting to be triggered by almost anything.

I love spending time with old people. They seem all settled with everything. They just dont care about life that much anymore. Maybe because they have exhausted themselves already. I cant say I cant wait to be old but I just cant continue hating. I hope there will be people who will teach me how to calm my heart. Otherwise I will be wearing a straitjacket sooner than expected and people will rejoice. Okay, not all because what do they care right?