Cheese Nips

Being married to an American (Born and Raised New Yorker) of an Italian (his Mom is half Italian bearing the maiden name, Dominioni) and Irish (his father is of Irish and French lineage) has ups and downs.

Dont get me wrong, the Hubster is extremely lovable. Sometimes, much much more than the usual but for those who knew me that well, there is always a room for hatred. I am a hater! But deep in the recesses of my purely black heart I can still feel love.

(Everytime Beamer see me skype-ing with my family and friends.)
Beamer: What do you talk about for so long? Cheese Nips?
(referring to "chismis" aka gossip in Filipino language)

Ladies & Gentlemen, my husband! He always mess Filipino words and still manage to be lovable. I think he is slowly developing this skill of making me smile when I am not in the mood. Slowly.

I will not be ranting about the things I need to do. On second hand, why the hell not? This is my blog. Go and get yours.

Looking at the crib makes me cringe. I have occupied our lounge area and the living room for my wedding decors. Our winter room is full of clean clothes which needed to be ironed and hang. Our guest room is still not cleaned since Kylee left. The Dining area is full of our things from our mini vacay which was ruined by Irene. The only clean place will be the kitchen and our Summer Room where we sleep.

I need to continue doing the decors. I am now on to the hanging decors for the pavilion. I have to make 100 pcs and now I made 6. Way to go!!!

Today I will be getting the wedding favors. It will also serve as the Seat Names. And probably look for a dress for my Mother because she gained weight and the dress she has no longer fit her. She is always on a night shift hence eating a lot! I also need to get someone to alter my wedding dress. And I think, I need to start my chores now.

A Bitch Called Irene

I'm back!

My mini-vacay was ruined by the hurricane. Beamer and I left The Riv last Thursday and headed to New Jersey. Friday we went to New York. We were supposed to accompany my mother in the Philippine Consulate and go to The MET and Statue of Lib. Unfortunately, while we are on the consulate, the hubster learned that the hurricane is on its way and traffic was predicted. So we went back to NJ as soon as possible. The hubster headed to his friends in NY for golf (before Irene struck) and the fantasy football draft.

In the next 3 nights, I gorged myself with good old Filipino food from Apollo (Filipino) Restaurant. I watched Filipino movies which included an extremely annoying movie called Adventures of Pureza which is really really boring and a complete waste of time and money. Good thing I have time to waste and the money came from my mother who was sleeping all through the movie.

I insisted that Beamer do not stress himself while we are separated due to the hurricane and enjoy his time with family and friends. I do not want him to travel because it is dangerous. Extremely dangerous.

While New Yorkers are ranting that the news about Irene was over-hyped I still feel that it is better to be safe than sorry. There were several deaths (because of  hurricane) and people were evacuated. I am just glad that we all followed necessary precautions.

My mom was renting a shabby basement and I am glad that there was no power outage and flood. I never really experienced the hurricane but I felt that my past storm experiences in my country was worse. Flood was our main problem and I am just glad that we did not experience it now.

God is good!

And now that I'm back, you will be hearing more of my upcoming wedding rants.

Forces of Nature

August 24, 2010:

Busy Day as usual. I woke up cranky as you all know. Then had breakfast. Hubster went out of my way for awhile to get coffee and I took a shower.

Went to Rite Aid to get some stuff. Went to Health First for my blood work. Went to the Clinic to get meds refill for September. I told my doctor I wont be able to make it on September coz I will be busy for the wedding. Went to Michael's to buy some stuff. Okay, a lot of stuff needed for the wedding. Spent 30 minutes and a dollar less of a hundred. I am screwed and out of budget!

Lunch at a Cowboy styled pizzeria called One Horse Pizzeria & Saloon.

Went to look at a Party Planner to ask for bouncy castle rates. Too friggin' expensive for a 2 hour thing. Went vintage shopping for table cloths. I was particularly looking for flowery cloths. It robbed me off my budget as I have spent a little more of a hundred for a few ones. But those are good stuff.

Went to Marshall's (my favorite shop in the whole wide world!) for my early birthday present. Okay, presents. Betsey Johnson hotpink sunglasses and Audrey Hepburn-ish GAP sunglasses. Fergie ruffled flats. Rene Rolfe sports bra. Did I mention I am a 36B now? I still could not believe that I used to be flat-chested when I was in high school. Beats the hell out me. Be careful what you wish for!

Aug. 25, 2011:

Today, I will be fixing stuff to bring on our weekend vacay. We will be leaving at 12noon going to New Jersey. Tomorrow we will try to look like tourists in NY. Hey, when Beamer and I had our stay-cation. We asked a random guy being walked by his dogs to take a picture of us and he said: "Now you know that not all people from Fall River are bad." Imagine we live in The Riv and they thought we're tourists. 

Mwahahahaha! Where was I?

Afterwards, Beamer will go to Long Island for his draft and spend the night there with his friends. While I bond with my mother. Then Sunday morning we are bound to see the in-laws for the twins birthday. 

Then head home in The Riv.

Not unless the mother effin' Irene screw our plans again. Every time we have a good plan, Mother Nature just hates me. Always try to screw up my plans! Always!

Now let me go and pack. 

Crazy is what Crazy gets

I am trying to perfect the smoky eyes for an eye make-up.Though I feel that I should practice more of the natural look which is the hardest thing to do. I just can leave the house without a lipstick. And since I live in the suburbs (though The Riv is a city, I still don't get that feeling!) I usually don't wear make-up and high heels anymore. I hate it! I just friggin' hate it!

Where was I?

I woke up on the other side of the bed! I am being a hater today. Not that I was never but it is more intense today. My Mom called and I told her I was busy. She kept on saying she cant hear me so I told her not to call me because I am feeling more stressed that Beamer kept looking at me. I am still not dressed. I am supposed to have my blood work today for my liver. The motherfucking liver is not as good as it used to be. I think that's why I easily get drunk by a glass of Pinot Grigio!

I felt like cursing a lot today! My head is spinning! I want to smash things! Maybe start with my head! 

The hubster stated that I am just not used to him being around every morning. Its his vacation and I am really busy with the wedding decors and all but I just cant concentrate because he is here. He is omnipresent!

I'm going fucking NUTS!!!!

That's a Good Bingo

As Beamer is on a 2 week vacation from work, he spent it with 2 day and overnight golfing and boozing with best buds. He however checked up on me in the evening and the next morning. I slept in the couch watching TV and 2 movies. My hands are swollen doing the wedding decors, headbands, hair ornaments, corsage and boutonnieres.

I watched Little Fockers and enjoyed watching Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller still watch each other after all this time. I had a few laughs but what surprised me is No Strings Attached. It sort of inflicted a certain kind of emotion, but then again, I'm getting old. So I think that doesn't count.

Yesterday, Beamer and I decided to have a stay-cation in The Riv. We explored the city of Fall River. We both agreed that this is not where we should buy a home so its better if we enjoy the most of it.

We went to Lizzie Borden House. Apparently she axed (murdered) her wealthy and paranoid father and her stepmother. She was not found guilty but she still became infamous for some reasons. She also burned her clothes right after the murder because it has paint on it. More details and photos will be disclosed on my upcoming blog. The blog will solely cater to all the places Beamer and I will visit. And criticize.

The Marine Museum was closed during Mondays. The Battleship Cove costs $15 per person and Im not really into those ships so Beamer asked a man who just had the tour at the Battleship.

Beamer: Hey Man! Is it worth the $30? (He has 2 kids half price)
Man: Ahmm... (hesitated then probably decided to tell the truth).... Not Really!

Beamer and I went for a Nature Trail but I chickened out because it sort of freaks me out. I watch a lot of Criminal Minds that's why.

Our stay-cation finished playing BINGO at Knights of Columbus Hall in Tiverton with gazillion of people.

Today, I continue doing my decors and stuff. There's still gazillion things to do. I don't know know where to start.

BTW, we did not win anything on the $50 Bingo. But it was FUN!

Bite Me

I will not elaborate what this specific person told me but it was a little harsh. Not because its not true but because she has the guts to tell it to me. I mean, hello? Do you want a mirror for a Christmas gift?

You told me something about my outward appearance. Okay, maybe I have a flat nose (which you did not say because you also have one) or some crooked teeth but I guess its a common knowledge that you don't really say what's OBVIOUS!

For a minute there, I bit my tongue. Not because I am afraid of you (although your weight scares me a bit!) or  because I am a hypocrite and I cannot say it in front of you but because I know that you are soliciting a certain kind of emotion from me. RAGE! And I will not give that to you.

I laughed it off and told you that because of that specific flaw I can be liken to this actress who has similar feature. You were disappointed. Of course! I will never let you trample my ego. Never!

Or at most let you see me have a nervous breakdown! That is so 90's of me!

Oh and by the way, let me just tell you if in case you are not aware of, you are by far UGLIER than me. If your brain will be sold it will be expensive, because its slightly used. You will never con me with a greatness that you never have and never will. You can buy all the diamonds in the world but you can never have the class you think you have. Look in the mirror, closer...dust off the mirror because it is clouding your vision.

And the next time you want to open your mouth, be wary I will have no holds barred. I will bite my tongue no more. You will receive my fist!

Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Live A Life

circa 2006

On my recollection I have always been trendy. When I was in high school I was one of the girls who wear Guess pants and shirts long before Guess became a household name. I wore a pink Nike footwear even before Jolina Magdangal played with colors. Let me admit something which I never did before, I was ugly. Hahahaha! My Uncle, who was a hairstylist cut my hair like Demi Moore's in ghost and my mother was furious.

Nanay: This haircut is so ugly!
Me: This is Demi Moore!
Nanay: You are my daughter and for me you are beautiful but Demi Moore doesn't have a flat nose. She can pull a short haircut.
(Ladies and Gentlemen, my Mother!)

To say that I was Ugly in High School is an understatement. I was skinny. I never wore a real bra until I was in College. I wore a baby bra. I was never sexy. I didn't have boobies. I was skinny. My classmates tease me as a lizard and that dogs love me because I am a walking bone. My hair is atrocious! I used to pull my hair because it felt so good and then I realized that I was losing my hair and I stopped before I became completely bald. 

With some ugly features I must say that I have a nice skin when I was younger. While everyone have zits the size of Kilimanjaro, I had pristine skin. While my classmates were all into their puppy loves, I was into Barbie and Ken. I must admit, I had a lot of crushes but I was confused. Hell! I graduated High School when I was 15 so it goes without saying that Im a little bit immature than most of my classmates. That vacation I had my first boyfriend. It was not a "real boyfriend" in every sense. I got turned off when my brother antagonized the so-called relationship. I swear on Kurt Cobain's grave that I did not kiss that guy. At all!

College was the start of my LIFE. Though I still felt ugly, I was more of the life of a party. I met gazillion people and a handful remain true friends. I may not be proud of what I did but I sure am proud of what I have become.

People probably think I will be a loser. Maybe I was. Maybe I am.

But the truth of the matter is, the pursuit of happiness is unfathomable because nobody will ever be happy if they are not contented of what they have. 

I lived a life. And I am happy I did.

"To live intensely is a basic human necessity."
— Jessica Zafra (Twisted 8 1/2)

YOU

"We are the product of the choices we make."

I have met a handful of people who dont take any responsibility of their action. They want to blame everyone else but themselves where in fact, they are the sole person who put themselves on their own predicament.

It is calamitous! It is a disaster!

Our parents often tell us not to trust strangers and to choose our friends. I never really choose friends. As I have stated before, I love only those who loves me. I am however a paranoid. I was never really trusting. Sometimes, the friends you think will be your ally will stab you at the back.

People sometimes blame other people for making their lives miserable. It is them who made themselves miserable. Sometimes, they blame their parents for not sending them to school but it is them who opted to choose vices than have a degree. Sometimes they blame men for ruining their lives and having them impregnated but guess what? It takes two to tango. You can not blame your parents that you got yourself pregnant. They were probably not there when you were consumed with lust. And don't just blame the man. I think it is both your mistake and the least you can do is own it.

You are who are you now because of what you have done to yourself. There is no one else to blame but yourself. At the same time, if you are happy with what you have become, it is only necessary that you go out and treat yourself for a drink or two because you are the sole person responsible to get you wherever you are right now.

And for those who are not yet in the state of happiness, there is still time. There is still time. Seal your fate with the choices you make.

My Hardworking Hubster

Today is the last working day of Beamer. There will be a 2 week vacay which he most probably will spend golfing. I have no doubt. I kept on bringing up a vacay in New York but he is so stressed with all the work stuff so he told me that after today I can talk to him about the wedding and any plans for the vacay. Yay!

Our date night was cancelled last night because he was asked by the hospital to work another shift. The hubster has officially 4 jobs. His main job is at school for the kids with special needs and he part-time at the hospital for kids with special needs too. Aside from that he works part time (one on one) with another kid with special needs teaching them to be productive and adapt socially. He now applied for a work which he calls an exercise, a mover at the Dunkin Donuts Center. He started when the Cirque du Soleil was in town and he loved it. He just doesn't stop working. I am just amazed!

Which reminds me, I need to be more aggressive with my business. Anyone who wants to sell previously owned pants at a low price just call me and we can arrange something.

Stress at its Finest

Beamer left for work at around 6:30am. I slept after he left because I felt really sleepy. I woke up around 11:30am when he called as he left several text messages.
 

My Farm Wedding is near and I have never felt so alarmed. Really! During our City Hall wedding, I was calm as the Pacific Ocean during summer. Though there was a blizzard and the snow hindered my guest to park, I still felt really okay! True, it was so surreal! Like what a first wedding is supposed to be. I remembered thinking: "This is it! No turning back! There is still time! RUN!"

Beamer and I had a rough time. We had a love which blossomed in its course. I love him more and more. True, I get irritated at times. But hey! Im a hater! I breath to hate! It is but natural!

I told him once when we were arguing that I am starting to hate him. And he said, its my prerogative to hate him as long as he is a good and responsible husband. And he will never hate me.

With him at least having the balls to lie that he never once hated me, I guess made me love him more. It takes guts to lie to me. Though I hate liars, I hate bad liars more. The least you guys can do is to lie and be good at it!

Where was I?

This Farm wedding is making me crazy! I am not panicking but I somehow felt in my gut that I need to. And that's what I hate about it.

Let me try to do more decors. We will be having a date night tonight. I don't know what to wear!

The Boondock Saints

The Boondock Saints is a 1999 American crime thriller film written and directed by Troy Duffy. The film stars Sean Patrick Flanery andNorman Reedus as Irish fraternal twins, Connor and Murphy McManus, who become vigilantes after killing two members of the Russian Mafia in self-defense. After both experience an epiphany, the brothers, together with their friend (David Della Rocco), set out to rid their home city of Boston, Massachusetts of crime and evil; all the while being pursued by FBI Special Agent Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe).

As I cant get enough of Sean Patrick Flanery since I saw an episode of him in Criminal Minds, I feel the sudden urge to write about him.

The Boondock Saints Team arrived in the hotel. I was responsible of the meet and greet and I have 3 colleagues to help me. Sevinch, who was oblivious of what's happening. Wendy, who was smitten. And Henry, who was really, really smitten.

The rooms as usual were not ready. I asked for their credit cards and passports and did the check-in's myself. Henry and Wendy gave the juice and made the key. Afterwards, I asked them to start escorting the VIP's. 

Sean Patrick Flanery was carrying his own duffel bag the size of my luggage. And when I say my luggage, that must be huge! I never travel light. 

He was the cutest thing I've ever seen in the hotel. His body is so inviting. Like it was telling me to put my head on his chest or something. Then, as reflex I asked him: "Can I help you with your luggage, Mr. Flanery?"

I think he almost poop his pants laughing because I am so tiny compared to his muscled body. Hey! Dont get me wrong, I am not really into men who has six pack abs. For me that's so gay! But he just looks so delish! 

Oh, I'm sorry, Am I married?

Crazy Old Me

Scene: I was reprimanding Kylee because she was talking to me in a disrespectful tone. 

Me: You have to be respectful to elders. Do you know how old I am? Do you know?

Kylee: Yes Ma'am! You're old!

(And as I was about to tell her that with old age comes respect..)

Kylee: You're 27!

Me: Yes! I'm old! I'm 27!

Pardon me while I die of laughter for a minute. The Farm Wedding is my 28th birthday then. 

On my recollection, I was crazy! People love me for being crazy! People thought I can be a stand up comedian and rival Kathy Griffin. That was a long long time ago back then Kathy G. is not as famous as today. From time to time, I still get a few chuckle but I guess my cynicism impedes me to pursue making people laugh.  I was just not cut out for that!

Sometimes, I still feel like I'm crazy as I was ages ago! I still feel the urge to smack people when they say stupid things. I was not called an "amazon" for nothing. I have always been very generous to people. Some people might disagree but if they give it a long thought for sure they will realize that I have given them something. 

A smile. A gift. A time. A moment. A shoulder to lean on. An ear to listen to their whinings. A piece of advice. A fashion sense.

There's got to be something!

Just A Thought

Taken at Sophocleus Residence in Pafos, Cyprus

I started writing at an early age. I would not say that I am good at it please do not misunderstood. What I am saying is, I started early. That's it. Period.

I was probably encouraged by my nosy mother to have a diary when I was a kid. We could not afford a psychiatrist. When I was on my teens until my 20's, I started a journal which still exist on an attic in my mother's house in a small town called Nabua. 

I love that place, I cannot imagine a childhood without remembering that town. Its a small town so its only logical to say that everybody knows everybody, therefore gossip is on massive accounts. But that didn't bother me at all. As I have said, I love being the subject of ridicule. And I don't give a flying FIG!

I am however a late bloomer. While my classmates are getting chummy with the boys, I opted playing Barbie. In high school. Who does that? Still, writing vs. psychiatrist helped.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 15. I just graduated from High School and I think it was more of a fascination. I never kissed the guy. We held hands and he put his head on my shoulder which my sister Sugar misconstrued on a different angle that we were kissing. Up to this day she attest to that. BA-NA-NAS! And though there was a saying which goes "Fist Love Never Dies" I guess he was not my first love. It was something I call, a fascination.

And after that? Ok, here's the thing. If I will write about my past relationships, I have no qualms about. However, I might (AGAIN) hurt their feelings. I am not called the "Devil Incarnate" for nothing. Mwahahahahaha!

On my recollection, Boys were actually the subject I love to write about. Its the amusing fact that however they think they differ, they are so much similar. Its hard to find a Man. The transformation is crucial. I think that's why boys dont really like me. I have gazillion gay friends and very rare to have boy friends. We just dont seem to mesh. Its always a clash. I guess its because I have bigger balls than them.

I cannot blame them. I cannot. 

I always have been braver than them. At some point smarter. Some of them thinks I'm an idiot. Maybe I am. Maybe it was forced to let them shine and boost their confidence.

Bottom line is, writing is good. It will save you lots of sessions with a shrink. The money you save can buy shoes. The time you saved can be spent strutting those new skyscraper stilletos.

Who needs to sit on a chair and blabbermouth everyone and still be ripped off with a fee? When you can actually just go to your friends and gossip for free?

Ponder on that!

High Hopes

Kylee left our crib yesterday. Contrary to popular belief that we will again shed some tears like when we left Ondrej in Virginia, Beamer and I were on mindset already. So there were no tears, though we will surely miss her. See? Everything should be a mindset.

Today is another day to be busy. I finished wrapping my "gifts" for my flower girls and usherettes yesterday and now I wanted to make more wedding decor. As usual, I am domesticated so I need to do my chores. Then when Beamer arrive from work, we will go to David's Bridal to look for a gown. Then visit this outlet store for quality curtains. He loves the idea of having those.

I have high hopes that this week will be a more productive week.

Elated, Enliven, Exhilarated

Whenever I feel down, I talk to my Lola (grandmother) and even if she passed away 2006, I still feel that she guides me. I have her photo (with me) framed in Dubai and now I had it on our fridge. I love her! She is the epitome of a matriarch. And most of all, I know she loves me. To my cousins and sibs, I am biased. Write your own blog.

Anyway, whenever I felt needing something she gives it to me. Especially if it is of the essence. I've been asking her to give me something for months. And yesterday, when I least expected it, it arrived. Beamer was as jubilant as me.

Life is really tough for other people but I have always been grateful to the unseen mover of all for making everything  easy as a flick of a finger for me. Sometimes I feel that I am not worthy for the blessings.

Unbeknownst to everyone, I am very spiritual. Not necessarily religious, but I am spiritual. I believe in God who is powerful and omnipotent. I believe that we reap what we sow. I believe that he will give us what is due us. I believe.

"When God push us to the edge of the cliff there is only one thing which will happen. Either he will catch us when we fall, or he will teach us how to fly." 

The Endless Pursuit of Happiness

Cyprus was a revelation for me. I may not have known what I wanted in there but I surely learned what I never wanted from the start. And that alone is considered a revelation.

People go on with their lives never realizing what they wanted. And I am just happy and thankful to the unseen mover of all for clearing my mind. I can now see clearly without trepidation. Life is unfolding. 

Yesterday, we went to the beach. Kylee was overflowing with happiness and cant hide that feeling so she started chasing the seagulls. Then we went to the park and watched a mini rock concert in Newport. We had dinner at Via Via-Newport.

Today, I need to finish blogging and do some chores. I am so domesticated. I have to clean the rooms because I will be having guests this weekend. This is gonna be another busy day.

We might go to a jewelry shop and inquire about prices of wedding ring cleaning. Drop some clothes for dry cleaning. Then shop some necessary things. I think I will bring the cold pasta I made, drop by at Marzilli's for a Hero and have a picnic in the park.

I'm thinking of going to the beach tomorrow if Sugar arrives at 2pm. Im sure we will have a blast in the sun.

I cant wait to start looking for a bridal gown. 

Egg or Chicken

Lets talk about something meaty today:

I just had an amazing spark of theory. Its liken to a light bulb flashing on my brain.


Last night, Beamer & I had a discussion about "pleasing people" and it ended with me going to bed sooner so he would think Im mad but I was just really sleepy. I just dont like cycling conversations. Something like, which came first, the egg or the chicken?


I stated, There is nothing wrong with pleasing people. That was my job and I loved it. (Referring to my previous job as a Guest Relations Supervisor.) The best thing about it is I get paid by pleasing people.


Now with regards to the environment outside my workplace. I still stand to what I have stated: There is nothing wrong with pleasing people. But people who deserves it. I can please you and give you enormous amount of BS. But would you rather me giving you that? Or do you prefer me to say the truth and nothing but?


With Beamer being sensitive with the issue, claiming he was not pleasing anyone but me. Which I still doubt because everybody pleases someone at one point or another. Whether they like it or not. Whether they accept or deny it.


With this in mind, let me just reiterate that:


I only please people when Im paid (oh no, not that pleasing thing. That is another topic to be tackled.) with a salary. I can only please at a short leash. And if it is not reciprocated I will take it against you. You do not deserve me as a friend and you should be eradicated from the circle of trust.


Time and time again I have always said that I love people who loves me. Those who hate me is really not of my interest because really, people who hates me are insecure and bitter. And I only choose my enemies, because they should be of my level and those who arent are really just non-entity.


When I was on my teens I had OCD. My shoes should be perfectly aligned. My bed perfectly tucked. My bag perfectly placed. And then I started drinking. And all hell broke loose. But when that happened, it was the greatest time of my life.


Some people might remember their teenage life with an enormous amount of angst and bitterness. I dont. I honestly had the most amazing journey. I may not be proud of what I did before but I most certainly am with what I have become. People honestly believed I will be a LOSER (and maybe I still am) and end up in an institution or perhaps someone they can refer to their children as "You do not want to be when you grow up."


These people who judged and disparaged me, claimed to be prophets with the thought of me being a LOSER when I grew up are really the ones I have to be thankful for. I wanted to spew "How dare you doubt my powers, you puny insect!" but Id rather quote Og Mandino: "I shall not allow any man to belittle my soul by making me hate them." 


We are who we are because of past experiences. Pleasing people is not that bad but over-compensating is. Your friends should understand your flaws and vice versa. You do not need to reach out to people who clearly do not want to be part of your lives. 

A Gloomy Day in The Riv

Saturday was an exhausting day. Beamer dropped Ky and I for some vintage shopping. There was not a lot of items for my business. I had some nice pieces for my Mom but I think I am in doubt if it will fit her now.


We then went to my favorite store, Marshalls. I got some nice slip-ons and Ky had her shoes for the Farm Wedding. She also wanted to buy a wedge strapped sandals but I think at age 4 she should stick with flats. Its more age appropriate. I dont care if Suri Cruise does it with grace. A sprained ankle at that age should be the least  of your concern.


Anyway, the Jessica Simpson sandals doesnt have my size. I was bummed but now I feel that I wanted a Sperry. Hehehehe!


I bought some other stuff too. Okay, a lot of stuff. I met Beamer's colleague at Marshalls and she saw my cart and told him: "Your wife is making some damage." Hahahahaha! Bee-otch!


Sunday, I rearranged and decorated our "Summer Room". Its the guest room but Beamer like to sleep there during Summer coz its more accessible to the bathroom. I was thinking of giving it a Beach-y feel but opted to have a Southern Vintage feel instead. There are still lots of cords to be fixed but I finished cleaning it. I don't care whether peeps don't like it as long as the hubster love it and dig the Southern Vintage theme.

Yesterday, we went to Walmart for groceries and Michaels for my arts stuff. I made another headband for Kylee. I will be working on some headbands for Sophia and Ella as well.

Today, were supposed to go to the beach but I guess its a bit gloomy in The Riv. I might proceed with cleaning the other room as well. I'm done cleaning our Masters but I still need to decide the theme of that room coz when I took out the quilt hanging on the wall it had the stiffness I was not expecting. I want rooms to have a soft and homey feeling. But for now, I don't want to waste my energy on that. I want to clean the Office/3rd room.

I Love to Hate

I love Desert Safari's. I had 2. Once with the Gay Council (Kimmy, BB & Perpie) circa 2008 and then with Beamer last year. And I think those 2 Desert Safari trips are enough of a memory to last a lifetime.

Though right now everything is on a slow motion I think that the time will come where my life will be fast paced again. All I'm saying is that, we all have our ups and downs. I am still lucky to be moving on. And most especially, moving forward.

Beamer and I dated for almost a year until he proposed. I love him so much and sometimes inevitably, hate him. I am a hater you see. If there is a day that I don't hate on one person or an object then its not me. To know me is to hate me. But to those who go beyond hating ends up understanding and then realizing that there is no more room in their hearts to hate me because I have consumed all the space allocated for hatred. Then slowly the hatred deteriorates and they realize that all the words I spewed are right and though I rubbed them the wrong way I have contributed a huge amount of influence in their lives. Whether they accept it or not, their lives may have been miserable at one point because of me and my doing BUT I was a major part of who they are and what they have become.

People sometimes think of me as friendly. I think I am. But once I get to know people and they make me feel uncomfortable I make sure I give it back to them twice as much. Don't get me wrong, work is work. Its different from my personal life. Nobody slacks on my watch. But out of work, I don't care what you do with your lives because you are not my friend. I get possessive with friends. I make sure I tell them the truth and nothing but. I can be super rude but hey, deep inside you know that I am not just a friend, I am an ally. I can give more than you expect of me and most of all, I provide fashion sense.

 I feel that since your other friends don't say anything and just stab you at the back, I prefer doing it in the front.

Apparently, I still am the person everybody loves to hate!

And I am loving it!