Egg or Chicken

Lets talk about something meaty today:

I just had an amazing spark of theory. Its liken to a light bulb flashing on my brain.


Last night, Beamer & I had a discussion about "pleasing people" and it ended with me going to bed sooner so he would think Im mad but I was just really sleepy. I just dont like cycling conversations. Something like, which came first, the egg or the chicken?


I stated, There is nothing wrong with pleasing people. That was my job and I loved it. (Referring to my previous job as a Guest Relations Supervisor.) The best thing about it is I get paid by pleasing people.


Now with regards to the environment outside my workplace. I still stand to what I have stated: There is nothing wrong with pleasing people. But people who deserves it. I can please you and give you enormous amount of BS. But would you rather me giving you that? Or do you prefer me to say the truth and nothing but?


With Beamer being sensitive with the issue, claiming he was not pleasing anyone but me. Which I still doubt because everybody pleases someone at one point or another. Whether they like it or not. Whether they accept or deny it.


With this in mind, let me just reiterate that:


I only please people when Im paid (oh no, not that pleasing thing. That is another topic to be tackled.) with a salary. I can only please at a short leash. And if it is not reciprocated I will take it against you. You do not deserve me as a friend and you should be eradicated from the circle of trust.


Time and time again I have always said that I love people who loves me. Those who hate me is really not of my interest because really, people who hates me are insecure and bitter. And I only choose my enemies, because they should be of my level and those who arent are really just non-entity.


When I was on my teens I had OCD. My shoes should be perfectly aligned. My bed perfectly tucked. My bag perfectly placed. And then I started drinking. And all hell broke loose. But when that happened, it was the greatest time of my life.


Some people might remember their teenage life with an enormous amount of angst and bitterness. I dont. I honestly had the most amazing journey. I may not be proud of what I did before but I most certainly am with what I have become. People honestly believed I will be a LOSER (and maybe I still am) and end up in an institution or perhaps someone they can refer to their children as "You do not want to be when you grow up."


These people who judged and disparaged me, claimed to be prophets with the thought of me being a LOSER when I grew up are really the ones I have to be thankful for. I wanted to spew "How dare you doubt my powers, you puny insect!" but Id rather quote Og Mandino: "I shall not allow any man to belittle my soul by making me hate them." 


We are who we are because of past experiences. Pleasing people is not that bad but over-compensating is. Your friends should understand your flaws and vice versa. You do not need to reach out to people who clearly do not want to be part of your lives.